Fortunate

I thought long and hard.
I thought sane and crazy.
I thought, then I slept . . .
then I woke up so hazy.

I crossed railroad tracks,
willing trains just to take me.
I dreamed when I slept . . .
and hoped death would just save me.

I felt like such a failure.
My hope was frail and thin.
I lived in a world of emotional pain,
I hid behind a masked on grin.

But then one day something flipped,
that switch inside my mind.
I started to want to live once again,
and it happened just in time.

I crossed those railroad tracks again,
this time my thoughts were these~
I wanna live, to be a mom,
so train, don't hit me, please.

And even though I had been lost,
I'm so fortunate I can now say.
I didn't give up and decided to live,
and I'm grateful each and every day.


~~~~~

Inspired by a twitter @writingprompt : fortunate