I’m going away—
to the only place I’m free to be me.
To that place inside my head,
where the words to say remain unsaid—
and where my thoughts are free from scrutiny.
Because the thoughts and the feelings I have felt
remember the pain that my heart’s been dealt.
I fear the world—I dread the laughter
because the judgment comes soon after.
I need to know—when can I laugh?
Am I allowed to cry?
Must I have permission—
for the thoughts I feel and why?
Can I speak without the dread
of their laughter mocking words I’ve said?
Although I know, I let it be,
the fuel that feeds this insanity;
I still laugh inside my head
at all of this hypocrisy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wrote this about 10 years ago when I was in severe emotional pain and struggling with an unhealthy addiction and a failing marriage....which left me feeling broken and wanting to hide inside of myself.
This is another sneak peek poem from my new book Alaurilee: Rhymes of a Random Soul
Prompted by United Poets: Thursday Think Tank: Prompt 11
Pain
“We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.”
~Kenji Miyazawa
They call me Alaurilee
- Serving Hugs on a Platter and Tears in a Teacup
- I've been writing poetry from the age of 12. It has, and always will be my outlet, my voice. Join me on my journey . . . I can write about almost anything. :) ~ Life doesn't come with a shiny new book; no users manual of answers to find with one look. Life comes with doors that open and shut; and paths laid before us to be followed or passed up. There's things we can learn and things we may teach; hearts that may find us and souls we may reach. Guaranteed on this journey are teacups of tears; and pains that might hurt us may age us by years. But the beauty of life, love, laughter and giving; come from serving hugs on a platter each and every day we're living. ~
