They call me Alaurilee

My photo
I've been writing poetry from the age of 12. It has, and always will be my outlet, my voice. Join me on my journey . . . I can write about almost anything. :) ~ Life doesn't come with a shiny new book; no users manual of answers to find with one look. Life comes with doors that open and shut; and paths laid before us to be followed or passed up. There's things we can learn and things we may teach; hearts that may find us and souls we may reach. Guaranteed on this journey are teacups of tears; and pains that might hurt us may age us by years. But the beauty of life, love, laughter and giving; come from serving hugs on a platter each and every day we're living. ~

Sunday, August 29, 2010

River of Irony

The river of irony goes with the flow,
it turns and it twists as it puts on a show.
It flows soft and sweet with its delicate trickles,
then roars into madness, leaving rafters in pickles.

It needs to be present, for there to be life;
it can cut through a canyon like butter from knife.
Before we were born, we swam in it and grew;
our first world of fluid was all our lungs knew.

That life bringing first breath that comes from the air,
we cry as we breath in this air we all share.
The water now takes on a new destiny,
for that which can give life can take it you see.

We need it to drink, but it's best when it's pure;
with too much pollutants, it could kill us, for sure.
When we don't drink enough, our poor bodies dehydrate.
Sit it in too long, we shrivel up like a dried date.

Its brings life to being, yet blows homes to bits.
Its calm, cool and tranquil, then throws hurricane fits.
Were grateful for all that our water can bring,
were blessed to have drops from our clean clothes to wring.

The moral I speak of lies hidden in rocks,
this life giving water . . . this paradox.
It gives life and takes life, sometimes in one breath;
then gives up a teardrop at the mention of death.

That teardrop then falls from the face of the living,
who pick up their feet and continue the giving.
The sweat on our brow becomes fuel for our soul.
A rebirth for the living, for this is our goal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Written in response to this weeks:
Think Tank Thursday Prompt# 12 at United Poets

"We forget that the water cycle and the life cycle are one"
~Jacques Cousteau

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Also I write this in honor of all those who have suffered from the devastation's of water damage in any way shape or form. Hurricanes, Tornado's, Vicious Storms, Typhoons, Tidal Waves, Tsunami's.

Flood and water damage is devastating.

Water is a force not to be reckoned with.....

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Away (From ROARS book)

I’m going away—
to the only place I’m free to be me.
To that place inside my head,
where the words to say remain unsaid—
and where my thoughts are free from scrutiny.
Because the thoughts and the feelings I have felt
remember the pain that my heart’s been dealt.
I fear the world—I dread the laughter
because the judgment comes soon after.
I need to know—when can I laugh?
Am I allowed to cry?
Must I have permission—
for the thoughts I feel and why?
Can I speak without the dread
of their laughter mocking words I’ve said?
Although I know, I let it be,
the fuel that feeds this insanity;
I still laugh inside my head
at all of this hypocrisy.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wrote this about 10 years ago when I was in severe emotional pain and struggling with an unhealthy addiction and a failing marriage....which left me feeling broken and wanting to hide inside of myself.

This is another sneak peek poem from my new book Alaurilee: Rhymes of a Random Soul

Prompted by United Poets: Thursday Think Tank: Prompt 11

Pain
“We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.”
~Kenji Miyazawa

Monday, August 16, 2010

Interview with Me!! Alaurilee: Rhymes of a Random Soul - Alaurilee: ROARS !! :)

This is a long post but hope you will enjoy it . . . :)

So I thought since I am a brand new author and a brand new poetry blogger I would share some info with you all regarding my book. In this post I will include pics of the front and the back covers as well as a Press Release Questionnaire I answered for marketing. It will answer some questions you might have about my book. Hope you enjoy!

AH yes, and on a special note, just recently I realized the acronym for Rhymes of a Random Soul is ROARS. And Alaurilee is my alias . . . so . . . Alaurilee: ROARS !!! I kind of like that.... 

I don't roar often . . . normally I'm about hugs . . .but sometimes . . . you just have to ROAR!! :)


Press Release Questionnaire and Information


Provide a short, but complete synopsis:

As a poetry book this is different in several ways. Not only does it chronicle the history of my growth as a poet; from age 12 to 39; but it also tells stories along the way. Not only my stories, but the stories of many people in my life as well.

The book is divided in 3 sections to account for the 3 names I’ve carried and the growth through each of those stages in my life. The poems are very conversational and tell stories that share and trigger feelings and emotions. My poems are my voice, yet the voice of others as well, in that many times I find my poetry jumps right out and grabs even the somewhat hardened souls, right by the heartstrings.

The first section begins at youth and travels to early adulthood. It shows the mindset of a teen and the dreamy, yet tortured, youth mentality and everything in between; falling in and out of, not only love, but dreams of love as well. You will find random poems of nature, little boys, and survival, even ones about cancer, loss and hope.

The second section starts after a 10 year hiatus from writing and chronicles the end of a 12+ year marriage. There is a bit more emotional pain in this section as I fought to find myself and writing was my key. Even so, hope always seemed to sneak into my words every chance it could. I fought for hope through my writing.

The final section chronicles a new beginning and all the ups and downs of being alone, looking for peace, and looking for love. Also touches on raising a teen. I also started writing from prompts, and some truly beautiful words emerged from that process. This section shows sadness, longing, hope, survival, letting go of baggage, falling in love again and beautiful random poems as well.

All in all, this book is the completion of one dream and the start of the next. The book is in memory of my father, who passed on July, 27, 2009. In some of his last moments he had a flash forward memory, where he saw my, yet unfinished book, in a book store in California. He only saw it in his mind as it wasn’t reality yet. But more importantly he saw it in his heart, and so did I. I saw it in my heart and I saw it in his, and that in part gave me the courage and determination to make it so.

I did this to touch my dad (even if in Heaven) and to honor his memory; and also, to touch people’s hearts and souls—if I may.

Describe your main characters:

The main characters are my family, my friends and I; I as the Alaurilee that lives and breathes inside me; my inner Muse. My characters are also loved ones who’ve touched me; and thoughts and ideas that may have spoken to me and demanded to be heard, and then written.

Characters include fictional ones that tell a story. Sometimes my characters are found in nature, sometimes laughter, sometimes rain and sometimes the sun. And many of them mirror stories in my reader’s lives as well.

In a way, even random thoughts and ideas are characters. A flipping coin is a character, as is a lonely old man. Anything can speak, if we listen.

My characters are brilliant, yet troubled; weak, yet strong; timid, yet bold; scared, yet happy. My characters are all of this and more.

Provide setting - time period and locations:

These poems were written from 1983 through 2010. Even so there is no real set time period. Some are set in the time they were written while others tell stories from other time periods. In general, most of my poetry is timeless and simply written. I designed this book and it’s content to reach the many, young and old.


How long have you been writing?
Off and on for almost 25 years, the most active writing taking place in the last 10 years.

Would you like to share your age with readers?
(Is your age in any way pertinent to your book subject)
I am on the threshold of 40, 39 and aging daily! Or shall I say, growing and gaining wisdom daily.  My age is really no relevance to the book. I think my book is timeless, inspiring and has the ability to reach people for years.

What motivated you to write this book?
I have fancied writing a poetry book for at least 10 years. I started gathering my poetry in hopes of writing a book eventually. My father passed last year and during a less than lucid moment he had a flash forward memory where he said he saw my book in a store in California. He knew it was my dream.

I did this for him, for me, and for all of us who have a voice they hope to share with the world. I did it to pay honor to my past and my growth.

The project came full circle one year almost to the day, of when he passed. I’m truly blessed I got this chance to pursue and accomplish a dream, with the help of my dad’s heavenly faith in me. The only sadness is that I cannot share it with him, so I shall find a special way to give him his own book, even if it’s in a framed shadowbox on my mantle.

Who and/or what inspire you most?
My husband, who helped heal my heart with his love, as he struggles with a Chronic Disease yet fights and works every day, and even more so, lives life as full as he can.

And my son inspires me as well, as he has grown so much—through hardship, pain, divorce, healing and life. And in the end emerging a beautiful, thoughtful, caring soul.

My inspiration is people. People I’ve loved, even people who have troubled me have inspired me. People I’ve known for just moments or for forever.

On a huge universal level my goal is touching hearts and souls; sharing people’s hopes and fears; speaking words straight to their hearts. I love using everything around me to inspire and prompt my creativity. I love being able to work magic with these thoughts and feelings, with my words.

What are your future plans?
 First things first, I will heavily market this first book in the hopes it reaches many. I even hope to find a way to have English teachers share it to their students. I would love to travel and promote it with book signings as well.

I am also working on spreading my brand, “Serving Hugs on a Platter and Tears in a Teacup”. I plan to write until my last breath, if I am able. And publish and create as well. It’s what I love.

I also write customized poetry for special gifts for weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, graduations and memorials. I hope to continue that as well. It is truly a priceless gift.

Have you started on your next book?
I actually have started 5 more books.

1) A children’s book about a little green ladybug named Lola. All that is left is the illustrations. This will most likely be my next publishing project.

2) A children’s book for little ones who have lost a grandparent at a very young age.

3) A children’s book where the lead character is a girl inspired by the healthy benefits of water. She becomes an advocate to help people learn to drink more.

4) Book one of a poetry book series, which I have already written approximately 50 new poems for, just this year. These poems are for the most part, prompted by others. They give me a word, phrase, story, thought or a picture and it inspires my storytelling ability as the words just start to flow. I hope to create a series of books based on this book, much like ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul’ but a poetry version. It will be d├ębuting my brand, ‘Serving Hugs on a Platter and Tears in a Teacup’.

5) A fictionalized tale of the character ‘Alaurilee’, whom I am establishing as my alter ego. This book will tell more of my actual life stories in chapters and prose. It will still feature poetry as well to highlight the stories.

Where did you grow up?
I was born in Santa Rosa, California and lived a short while there. Then I lived a few short years near Flagstaff and Holbrook, Arizona. Eventually settled in for the remainder of my childhood in; Gallup, Continental Divide, and Thoreau New Mexico area. I also spent about 10 years in the Oklahoma City area as well.

What community/town/city do you now live in or near?
Fate and a second chance in life brought me to live near Knoxville, TN. It’s a beautiful slice of Heaven living near the gorgeous Smokey Mountains and all this beautiful greenery. The forest fairies have truly touched my soul. I hope to call this home forever. Living here has truly inspired my creativity in a whole new way.

Are there any famous authors that inspire you?
Henry David Thoreau, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, Edgar Allen Poe, Robert Frost, and Emily Dickenson.

Why do you write?
I write to sooth the thoughts in my head, I write to express myself, I write to tell people stories and give them hope and understanding, and I write . . . to breathe.

When did you realize that you wanted to be a writer?
I didn’t really realize it until I was about 29 or 30. I had found all my earlier writing and was in a very difficult stage of my life. I truly needed a voice, and my writing became my voice. Then to my surprise it became a voice I wanted to share to as many as I could.

Do you ever have problems with writer's block? How do you deal with it?
I very rarely get writers block. I am sometimes overwhelmed with all the stuff that screams to be written. My mind is very busy with rhymes and thoughts and ideas and emotions. It sometimes becomes so much it causes insomnia. But I love it. And I feel very blessed to be surrounded with inspiration in my daily life.

What is your writing schedule?
I write all the time, but not on a specific schedule. It always comes out when it is ready. If something strikes me in the shower, I rush out to write it down. With modern technology I write a lot of my poetry on my blackberry phone. It’s very handy and I can write from anywhere.

How did you feel when you finished writing this book?
Exhilarated, numb, excited, proud, and so accomplished. They sky is the limit!

Do you hope to inspire other writers?
I truly do, and not only other writers, but readers as well. Many of my readers have their own voice; they just haven’t found it yet. I am active in online poetry groups where we truly inspire each other and encourage each other. It’s a beautiful thing.

What advice would you give for people thinking about writing a book?
Just remember to use you’re punctuation when writing even poetry. It will help you when you reach the editing process. Have faith in yourself but be open to at least review suggested changes. It is a long process with a lot of work to be done, but so gratifying as well. For at least your first book try to work with a publisher and not do just self-publishing. You will learn so much about the book industry by doing so. They even have packages where you can partially self-publish yet get marketing as well. This was the way I did it and its working rather well so far.

What do you do for a living?
What is your day job or is writing your day job? For years I did accounting duties for small businesses, car dealerships and then for GMAC (General Motors Financing) most recently. I took a leap of faith and quit full time in early 2010 to concentrate my efforts on establishing myself as a writer and creator, and to complete my first book.

What obstacles have you overcome to write this book?
My first initial obstacle was the funding. And in a weird way, my father passing and leaving me a small sum of life insurance money, became the tool I needed to not only write this book and set myself up in business doing what I love, but to also help my son go through a growth program that healed him, matured him and allowed him to have a second chance in life.

It is so true that there is life, even in death. My dad enabled my dream to write and to help my son by his passing. It’s a bittersweet feeling. I’m eternally grateful to him, which is part of why my book is presented in my dad’s memory.

How long did it take you to write this book?
I started writing the poems for it when I was 12. Stopped at about 19-20 and put it away for 10 years. I found it all and I started compiling the old poetry in Word format when I was about 29-30, then continued adding new poems along the way.

Then in January of 2010 I started the actual book plan and it took about 7 months to complete the project and get the book to print.

What research did you do for the book, if any?
The research has been very little as most of this is stuff that floats around in my head. I have a little bit of poetic freedom I like to claim. Occasionally I will use the Internet to get clarification on topics and to help me out with vocabulary and punctuation questions.

Did you draw on life experience to write this book? If so, can you share that experience in brief?
I thoroughly drew on life experience to write my book. My poetry and my book are like a road map of all I have been through and things I have seen others go through. Even more so a road map of life in general and what we should all try to draw from the life experience.

My motto is this, life hands you tears and hardship, but it also hands you hugs and love, if you are willing to embrace, pay it forward and give it out freely, you will receive it back two-fold. Basically the truth of life is that sometimes bad happens, we learn, we grow, we survive, and then we have the chance to share our experience as a testimony. And sometime good happens, and we embrace it and celebrate that too. I just chose to share all of this via poetic words that dance around people’s hearts, coaxing them to embrace their emotions, own them, and experience them to the fullest.

Do you possess a unique quality or talent that might relate to the purpose of this book?
I do actually. With just a few details, facts, stories, pictures and insights I gather from people, I am able to pull out beautiful words that relate their experience to the world. I speak for people who have no voice. Sometimes I thoroughly blow people away with what I can come up with and how quickly it flows once the writing process begins. I think my unique talent is that I can feel emotions, and feeling so deeply, not only in myself, but in others. This ability allows me to be able to touch people on a beautiful level, with my poetic, musical, words that reach straight to their hearts.

Is there anything else you'd like to tell us? (Possibly about your home, family, life purpose, your community, etc)
I live in a 2 family home. My husband is a business man who travels weekly. He also is a fighter of painful Chronic Crohn’s Disease and every day is a blessing in survival. I have a 17 year old son who is an avid skateboarder and a High School Senior this year. I am also the proud Mom of an older son who has blessed our lives with 2 grandchildren. We live in one section of our home.

The other section of the house is occupied by my husband’s parents, both in their 70’s. My Father-in-law recently fought prostate cancer, and survived while taking care of his wife. My Mother-in-law has been battling Multiple Sclerosis for almost 50 years. With all our struggles and ailments we stick together and help each other. And we freely share hugs to help us get through with smiles on our faces and love in our hearts.

I love reaching out to others and am a huge supporter of those struggling with life threatening illnesses. Having several friends and family members touched by cancer, I am inspired by those in the fight of their lives. To show my support, I have walked in the ‘Buddy’s Race for the Cure’, in Knoxville, TN, for the past 3 years and plan to continue this tradition for many years to come. I also participated in the inaugural Cards4Cancer project in April, 2010; even writing a special poem of survival for cancer fighters; and organizing and helping make 200 cards for a local Cancer Center in Knoxville.

My Mission and my life purpose are simple: To touch people lives with my words . . . and to Serve Hugs on a Platter and Tears in a Teacup. Every life I touch, in turn touches me. And I am grateful.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Both Sides of the Coin (Rhymes of a Random Soul Book)

Don’t define how life should be
then live each day accordingly.
From the spirit and the soul,
in your heart, you will know.

Live by both sides of the coin,
for to exist they both must join.
Walk each day in other’s shoes
as everybody pays their dues.

For the many or for the few,
or for us all as we should do.
Don’t forget to stop and think
but also think to stop and drink.

Drink a toast to what may be,
share in some camaraderie.
Listen well and share your thoughts
with the elders and the tots.

Read their history and write your own,
never stop learning even when grown.
Take away color, sex and race
and soon we’ll all round third base.

Good and evil plus heaven and hell,
angels and demons and stories to tell.
Flip the coin and you will see,
then flip it again and you will be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now that my 1st ever, brand new book "Alaurilee: Rhymes of a Random Soul" is on the market, I wanted to start sharing a few of the poems out of it. This is one of my favorites and I'm sharing this one first due to a brand new twitter friend named @heywho.

His Bio states:
Winning isn't what side happens 2 be up in an endless Coin Flip It's reclaiming your attention, never to play that old game again

I think this poem fits...hope you like it @heywho !!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Also submitted to: United Poets: Poetry Pantry - Week 3

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Eyes Behold the Beauty

Over time I've seen
amazing depth and beauty in everything.
Light in darkness and hopes in dreams.
A pattern emerged;
for everything comes in due time,
and getting through the rough
is the often the path to that which is good.
Not always simple and often pain is involved.
But the sweetness of perseverance
comes with the growth from traveling the path.
The many joys seen through tears,
the hugs that hold us together.
Caring people who rally in support,
hearts that dream for those who can't,
and for those who can as well;
and love shining through it all.
This is where true beauty lives.

Guest Post: My Son's Poem for his Girlfriend Lauren

who am i adorin
her name is lauren
the day we met i had butterflies
but i never let out cries or lies
now we together
she always makes me feel better
sure we fight
at the end she is a delight
i love her with all my heart
cupid pierced us with a love dart
she is my love and life
someday she is gonna b my wife

by bryan (17)

Haiku: Fragile


The brilliance of light;
fragile little lightening bug.
Sparkle in the night.




The Minds Eyes are Wise

My minds eyes, to my surprise, see so much more than I.
For when I trust my eyes alone, a so called truth, might be a lie.

Behind my eyes, to my surprise, are teardrops full of dreams.
They see much more, than just what is, they see beyond what seems.

These teardrops do not always flow, from out of the edge of my eye.
Sometimes they just hold back real tight, no reason to even ask why.

Teardrops aren't just for the pain, they're for the beauty too.
Those moments of the many tears, and those moments of the few.

These eyes that see, they puzzle me, and make me doubt just what I feel,
but behind these eyes, in the eyes of my mind, I see what is for real.

Inside I see a sharp view, of the many, of the few, and of us all;
because truly, it's about us all, answering that silent, universal call.

Seeing that which can't be seen, and that which can only be felt.
Living your life the best that you can with the cards that you've been dealt.

And to open our inner eyes wide, and to let what we see, sink in to our very soul;
in doing so, you grow, and the eyes of your mind truly see, and the soul begins to glow.

And once a soul glows, its like magic, and has the ability to reach out and embrace;
to grab hold off a heart, to sooth, comfort, and coerce a smile from a mournful face.

Even though we know the bodies eyes might see, listen to what you're minds eye's see.
For this is what is real, to feel, and it sets our hearts, spirits, and ultimately, our souls free.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Poets United: The Thursday Think Tank - Prompt 10

Prompt: The Eyes

"For I dipped into the future, far as human eye could see,
Saw the vision of the world, and all the wonder that would be”
~Lord Alfred Tennyson

Bruises Heal

Emotional misery strikes us to the core
as it leaves little splinters and scars.

So let's rethink this emo, pain game;
why let those scars and splinters, inflict their pain, forevermore?

Why not call them bruises instead?
And then, let's let the bruises heal, that's the deal.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Sleep Beckons

I'm so tired, yet I'm so very wired,
this creative buzz . . .

It drives me deep within my mind,
and inside yours as well . . .

I feel, I breath, I write, I rhyme,
its what I do . . .

And now my friends good-night,
for now, I bid adieu . . .

Teardrops on Rooftops

We hear teardrops on the rooftops, all dancing in the rain.
But they'll be no umbrella for this fellow or his darling dame.

Who's afraid to get a little wet? Well it's neither of us.
We're all about the dance and not so much about the fuss.

The gentle pitter patter of the drops upon our heads,
they water us like were royalty of some spectacular flower beds.

We've been know to bring a smile every where we go,
with silliness and laughter as our favorite moods to show.

My Prince and I, we happily sigh with every blessed day,
we get the chance to laugh and dance and maybe even play.

On my own I also roam in search of smiling eyes to see,
I'll find you on some busy street and get you to laugh with me.

So if you see me, sans my man, sneak up with film and flash,
rain or shine, please smile at me, I'll be out of your face in a dash.

But not until I find a way to coerce a giggle or two,
I'm all about the silly stuff, it's simply what I do.


~~~~~~~~

Inspired by the following twitter conversation:

@Greetums : I love the sweet sound of the rain. #peace

@grnladybug (me) : teardrops on the rooftop dancing in the rain

Since the fabulous Kat Cavery of Greetums will be celebrating a milestone birthday on August 7th and since she has been such a pleasure to get to know on twitter, I thought I'd write her a special poem as a birthday gift and let her know how special she is. Please click on the Greetums link above to see her online e-cards and other fun at her site. Maybe even send her a birthday e-card from her own site for her birthday, eh?!




Happy Early Birthday Kat!!! 

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Shinedowns Brent Smith is a good soul

I think I will occasionally post other special moments that arise that touch my heart...

This was a beautiful poetic experience with Shinedown and namely the lead singer.

The Lead singer, Brent Smith of Shinedown is amazing and from my area in Knoxville, TN! I got a chance to talk to him for mere moments before Shinedown took the stage at the Carnival of Madness Tour here in Knoxville recently.

I missed getting his autograph by mere moments...yet I spoke out to him and told him his music (namely "Second Chance" - sometimes good-bye is a second chance) helped me get through losing my dad last year.

Even though the security guard try to keep us apart, Brent made his way to get close to me. I thought to give me an autograph. But to my surprise he reached out and hugged me offering me condolences for my loss. That was so much better than an autograph.

Later on in the show he inspired me even more....first by playing Second Chance near the end. It brought my dad so near to me and for a moment he was rocking out with me to the song in Heaven.

Then, even better...he did a special performance of "Simple Man" and a sweet speech prior to his parents who were in the audience. This song is another special song for me and my 17 year old son Bryan. A year ago I dedicated this song to my... angry, troubled child as a desperate bid to find a way to touch his heart. After a very difficult year and lots of growth on both of our parts, my son and I were in a beautiful place at the concert. My son, Bryan was in a different part of the stands with his friends and girlfriend when the song started playing. I heard it and immediately hit the isle to head towards my boy. Imagine my delight when he came running down an isle at me and jumped in my arms. We held each other and sung with Brent.

This was one of the most magical, human experience I've had with anyone 'famous' in my life. It was soul to soul thing and transcended anything else.

Thank you Brent for touching my life and my sons life in such a wonderful way.

You are a good soul Brent . . .

The Sunshine of Life

You feel the way my heart skips when I feel you near?
It's because you bring me joy and in my heart I hold you dear

I think of you quite often and a smile sweeps across my face.
I know you're one to count on in this magical life rat race.

Family, friend, loved one . . . all the same, I hold you dear.
You brighten my life so much and have me grinning from ear to ear.

Life can have those moments that may cut us like a knife,
but my dear family and friends, you are the sunshine of my life.

Even when all I can give are tears and thoughts of sadness,
your open arms and loving ways soon take away the madness.

Living near or living far, I hope you know I think you're sweet,
and I'm so glad we got the chance to have our hearts meet.

I know you're something special, kind of like the bright sunshine,
so thanks so much for stopping by, I know we'll have a very nice time.

~~~~

Inspired by my dear friend Heather at Heather-n-Company aka @just1heather on twitter . . .

I asked her to give me a prompt to inspire me and she said to use her sweet quote from her blog . . .   :)

           Heather-N-Company
                                "Where friends 'n family are the sunshine of life..."

Heather, you are a beautiful soul and I thought of you while I wrote this. I ended it almost like an assumed open invitation for these special people to visit our hearts anytime, because they are always welcome . . and truth be told, they live in our hearts so they are always here: visiting, loving, caring and being cared for.

Thank you for being a ray of sunshine in my life . . .  :)

My Sanctuary

Sometimes when I close my eyes and drift off to sleep,
I start to dream and by surprise I'm pulled right off my feet.
Suddenly my arms become capable of flight;
I soar through the sky, everything such a delight.

I find that sleep removes me from the troubles of my day.
A sort of an escape that keeps my frowny side at bay.
Sleep reboots my system giving me another start.
Tomorrow is a new day to love with all my heart.

Another way that I refill my soul when feeling blue,
is by sitting on the back deck and absorbing natures view.
I feel at one with nature and the birds in the sky.
I soak up all the energy and exhale pain with a sigh.

At times when noise taunts me and I need a little quiet,
I run a nice hot bath and pretend I'm at the Hyatt.
I add some bubble bath and turn the lights down low.
Light a scented candle and ease in really slow.

If unwelcome sounds still reach me and I find I want no more,
I plug my ears and nose and dive beneath the bathtub shore.
I stay beneath the water hearing sounds like seashells make,
I stay submerged until I feel my lungs begin to quake.

For a moment I'm all alone, just me and my bath hideaway;
and quite often its enough to keep my demons at bay.
My soul is soothed and I can face the world once again,
replacing tired frowns with a rejuvenated grin.

~~~~~~

Inspired by Poets United and Thursday Think Tank #9

Sanctuary

"Sanctuary, on a personal level, is where we perform the job of taking care of our soul.”
~Christopher Forrest McDowell

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

In all Fairness

In all fairness were both saddened
by the tension in this moment,
so many words that have been mentioned,
and we've both felt some disappointment.

A little piece of us is wounded
and our biggest fear ever is falling apart.
As confusion's breeding delusion
and birthing wee little splinters in our hearts.

Yet, in all fairness I must say,
this love of ours is worth the fight.
It fulfills so very much of my heart,
nothing else has ever felt this right.

So let's let bygones be just that.
Sometimes it truly is ~ what it is.
No reason to let this fall apart,
because there's so much more than this.

~~~~~

For My husband . . . my second chance . . . I :heart: u.

Here's to making this work,
with love being strong enough to beat
all the stress of life, kids, chaos and illness.

Here's to forever!

Fortunate

I thought long and hard.
I thought sane and crazy.
I thought, then I slept . . .
then I woke up so hazy.

I crossed railroad tracks,
willing trains just to take me.
I dreamed when I slept . . .
and hoped death would just save me.

I felt like such a failure.
My hope was frail and thin.
I lived in a world of emotional pain,
I hid behind a masked on grin.

But then one day something flipped,
that switch inside my mind.
I started to want to live once again,
and it happened just in time.

I crossed those railroad tracks again,
this time my thoughts were these~
I wanna live, to be a mom,
so train, don't hit me, please.

And even though I had been lost,
I'm so fortunate I can now say.
I didn't give up and decided to live,
and I'm grateful each and every day.


~~~~~

Inspired by a twitter @writingprompt : fortunate

A Note to my Readers.... "Alaurilee: Rhymes of a Random Soul"

First things first I have a big announcement!!! 

My first ever published poetry book will be out soon!

"Alaurilee: Rhymes of a Random Soul"


This is a full circle moment for me.
One year ago my father passed away at age 59.
He had a moment before he died when he told me
he had been in a store and seen my book on a table.
He said he was so proud of me.

He was seeing the future as my book wasn't even put together yet. 
Not even close.

My book is written in his Memory . . .

I hope he can see it from Heaven.

I will have the first 250 copies in my hands by the end of next week.
This book contains my work from age 12 to age 39 and in some ways
tells the story of my life and people in my life through my poetry.

If any of you are interested in an autographed copy
please comment here and I will add you to a list.

Next . . .

An apology for my recent poetry . . .
. . . that seem to be more about tears than hugs.

But I guess just as my brand suggests . . .
 . . . tears are a part of life.

I've had some stress and some triggers that
have coaxed my fall into my past just a bit. 
But my poetry helps me breathe my way through it.

So ride this out with me and you'll see more positive, fun stuff.

And I hope, and have seen it true by your comments,
at these times I share my pain . . .
that our sadness relates . . . because we all have sadness.

We all have tears in a teacup. 
Sometimes our teacup overflows . . .
the tears become too much.
But we just keep on trucking . . .
because the hugs, they mean so much.

Thank you all for stopping by, for caring, and for sharing. 

And you for touching my heart and allowing me to touch yours.  

~Alaurilee~



Monday, August 2, 2010

Small Brass Key

Locked up tight in my heart
are memories of you loving me;
though long ago I threw away
that precious small brass key.

You know the key, the little one;
you gave to me with hope.
You know the key, the tarnished one;
tied to the end of my rope.

I carried it for many years,
long after our love had died.
It tarnished up from all my tears,
even those ones I tried to hide.

I carried it around my neck,
it strangled me with its pain.
I carried it like a burden,
for there was nothing more to gain.

Then one day that key snagged,
causing my heart to stumble.
I felt like I was being dragged,
no more reason to be humble.

I cut the rope and left the key
somewhere between 'love' and 'I don't care';
and though the key is gone,
that little rope still hangs right there.

Reminding me of memories,
of broken hearts and loves lost.
and it will always be a part of me,
for in the game of love, that is the cost.


¤¤¤¤¤¤

Inspired by @writingprompt on twitter: Small Brass Key

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Cold Water

I cautiously look into the mirror,
Anxiously dreading what I will see.
And just as I had suspected
tear-filled eyes look back at me.

My face is red and splotchy
and these eyes look so confused.
There's bags living under my eyes
looking puffy and slightly bruised.

Today I hide behind my tears
and exhaustion doesn't help.
If I was a little puppy dog
you'd hear my moody yelp.

I know I must still make it,
through this moment and the next.
So I splash cold water on my face,
to get me through 'til I can rest.

And the coolness of the water
soothes my eyes and my aching heart.
It may not seem like much,
but at least it is a start.

~~~~

Inspired by:
@writingprompt : Cold water....

And by a weary moment of dispair and the determination to survive it.

~~~~

Also submitted to:

Poets United: Poetry Pantry: Week 2