I'm Here

You take these shots every other week,
in the hopes of some remission.
The war it fights inside your body
forces you into submission.

Not everyone sees the pain I see.
They don't know how hard you try.
Not everyone sees the tears that fall
when the pain and fears make you cry.

You rest your weary head on my lap.
I run my fingers through your hair.
Softly soothing the nerves of pain.
Showing you comfort and care.

Every day the clock ticks on
and all the pain takes a toll.
I don't know how much time we have left,
but I'm blessed to know my role.

I'm here to hear your thoughts and fears,
I'm here to share your heart.
I'm here to dance our way through love,
two souls who vow to never be apart.

I'm here to love you so completely,
through moments of love and laughter.
I'm here to love you heart and soul,
from now until 'forever after'.

Away (From ROARS book)

I’m going away—
to the only place I’m free to be me.
To that place inside my head,
where the words to say remain unsaid—
and where my thoughts are free from scrutiny.
Because the thoughts and the feelings I have felt
remember the pain that my heart’s been dealt.
I fear the world—I dread the laughter
because the judgment comes soon after.
I need to know—when can I laugh?
Am I allowed to cry?
Must I have permission—
for the thoughts I feel and why?
Can I speak without the dread
of their laughter mocking words I’ve said?
Although I know, I let it be,
the fuel that feeds this insanity;
I still laugh inside my head
at all of this hypocrisy.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wrote this about 10 years ago when I was in severe emotional pain and struggling with an unhealthy addiction and a failing marriage....which left me feeling broken and wanting to hide inside of myself.

This is another sneak peek poem from my new book Alaurilee: Rhymes of a Random Soul

Prompted by United Poets: Thursday Think Tank: Prompt 11

Pain
“We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.”
~Kenji Miyazawa

Tripping Over Pieces of Me

I trip over my own tongue
I stumble over what I believe
I make people so confused
They don't know how to breathe

I say one thing and do another
I loose my mind like that
They all get wrapped up in my pain
Then I feel like such a rat

I hurt the ones I love the most
By trying too hard to make them happy
Then when conflicts start to arise
I lose my mind & get all sappy & snappy

I wear my heart on my sleeve
It gives so much and yet bleeds
And when it bleeds it spreads
Painful, hurtful, chaos seeds.

The words that are said seem so wrong
The ones I hear, the ones I say
They hurt too much & cause such pain
They make me want to run away

Save them from the pain of me
Save them from my confusion
Maybe the sanity I see in me
Is all just a wicked illusion.